Heyo! so many things have change ever since I am single. this coming 18 May will mark 1 year of singlehood :) I will not say I throughoutly enjoy it but I will not say I dislike it as well.
the grass is always greener on the other side.
So here I am, in my personal space chanced upon this article and really wanna place this in my journal - for future reference
Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go: 1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life. 4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle 5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly! “A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all. 8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell 10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real. 13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
A rainbow to end my day
what's god gift to me?
Thursday, December 08, 2011
When I was in my teens, I dislike preachers.
I mean give me a break! "praise the lord!" "thank you jesus!"
It started since I was 6 years old, going to Bethesda chapel in Bedok.
Oh how long god's relationship with me have started and then neglected :(
I asked myself, "what god's intention to seek for him now?" "why now?"
He seeked my faith in him and to tell myself, stop condemning myself for the things I've done because god is a forgiving god and as long as I am the righteousness in my faith, I will receive an abundance of grace, amen!
I am not perfect - I have said and done things that I regretted and I often ask myself,
"this is my karma" "god want me to regret" "this is my retribution"
thank god, I attended new creation church and hearing sermon about condemning no more... to receive grace from god.
I am happy for my ex bfs who are all getting married except for the most recent one.
truly sincerely am.
don't think anyone as mention will read but I think I am good luck lynette :P
as long as they are happy, I am happy.. no point comparing happiness.
many years down the road, as I read this blog post, I hope I can dare to say "I did find my own happiness too"
and I am sure god will help me along this journey...
because god is great, god is good.
lately, I thought I will never like someone ever again because the hurt was too deep but god proved me wrong.
though the person did not reciprocate, I am glad he made me realised, my heart deserved a second chance - undeserving second chance to let myself fall over heels with :)
it was a quiet happiness, inside shouting "YES, I DID IT AGAIN"
my friend asked if I am sad, I say though I am but god made me see it positively.
and when god came into my life, it was great, it was amazing!
with god's grace, I've experienced greatness.
so this greatness starts here. it's about my father.
All along, my father is a man of a few words.. he work so hard that every weekend, every family outing, he was not around.
however, he made efforts to appear during my graduations, my overseas study trips to send me off in airports - was more than I could ever ask for truly.
My childhood was great because of my ever greatest mum but father is always around to support me financially and in times of trouble - when I was cheated, dumped in love, work etc.
he's not all great sometimes, he scold and insult too. but I take it all in just because he's my father and for my own good I presume.
when I was learning how to drive, it was not rosy because he's a driving instructor and frankly, i was a bad driver then :P so the scoldings went all the way from the driveways and to home even. being a man, being my father - he had expectations of a driving instructor's daughter.
Now that I am driving, he never fail to surprise me - wash my car, polish my car, bring my car for servicing, offer to sponsor this and that.
So where does GOD have a part to play in this?
I never thought much of my father. I've been showering my love to my mum who was more needy and attention seeking (I mean she's a woman?)
Last night, i was praying if god want to make changes in my life.. let it start with my family.
When I was driving home, I was thinking of my father.
I was thinking of the funny moments where I tried to find my father's car in the parking lot to park beside him vice versa and how he tell me, he washed my car speck and span and trying to get some acknowledgement from me. to me, it's funny - funnily loving. he would wash my car from time to time - free car wash, who don't want? haha
then my sis came home today say there's a funny incident just after my thoughts of my dad run thru my mind.
she told me an old friend randomly ask her if she wanna learn driving because he has a good intructor in woodlands to intro and his name is robert.
what are the odds that our father name robert is also staying & teaching in woodlands?!
so my sis ask if his surname is "chee"
then all came to light - he was introducing my father to all of his friends and to my sis!
LOL, i wanna shout: PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
he introduced 10 friends to my dad and my sis didn't ask him to intro driving instructor. he just spread the word volunteerily without rewards, without repayment.
he told my sis, my father was a strict and good instructor and scolded him when he was late.
wow! I was impressed and thankful to this guy friend of my sis.
inside me, I also know who to thank - the greater someone who is answering to my prayer almost immediately.
in god's grace, we reign.
thank god for taking care of my father :)
i pray for more greatness as I am righteous in my faith.
I've lost a dear friend whom I know from netherlands exchange trip somewhere in 2008.
he was a great guy from korea who stayed in cologne, germany.
when I say, he's GREAT. i am so not over rating because he's humble though he come from a well-to-do family. he's ambitious with great dreams about what he want in life. he was young but driven and motivated.
no doubt, one of the better looking guys i've met as well.
he's not that all serious as well. he was fun! and out there, having gd fun.
haiz. I will surely miss him.. thought of even going to korea to ever visiting him.
goodbye my friend, may you RIP. see you one day, somewhere in heaven...
Whether you’re in love or not, I think this could be applicable to any kind of relationship: family, friends, significant other. It’s a good read. TRUST
Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, “Public Utilities Board.” There was silence. She repeated, “PUB.” There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady’s voice, “Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband’s pocket but I do not know whose number it is.”
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just “hello” instead of “PUB”…
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, “Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?” The father-in-law answered in a smile, “Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.”
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.
This is the start of a war.
We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too. CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested “I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.” The SDU officer said, “Your requirements, please.” “Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home, during my leisure hour & if I don’t go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.”
The officer listened carefully and replied, “I understand you need television.”
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses.
The nightmare begins.
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character.” It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.”
Many relationships break off because of wrong speech.
When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site.
A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, “Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.” On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, “Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.” She answered, “You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you.”
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It’s like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
Different people have different perception. One man’s meat could be another man’s poison.
A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, “Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? “Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.
Later, an old man saw it and commented, “The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?” Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, “How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.” The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.
Then, they met a young man. He commented, “Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.” Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled.
They lost their balance and fell into the river.
You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy’s hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, “Daddy, I’m sorry about your truck.” Then he asked, “but when are my fingers going to grow back?”
The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you wish to take revenge.
Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love.
Trucks can be repaired. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can’t. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.